Detective Conan Gets DrunkOr High or Whatever
by IHKF
Summary: Me and MinaM00N got a little bored... this is the result. WARNING: Contains evilly vulgur and cruel plots towards characters.


"_Mew…Mew…not another one." MinaM00N shook her head back and forth. I look up at her from my computer screen. "What?"_

"_Mew…we…we've already done this for MBC and never finished it… they're still pissed at us."_

_I nodded. "And?"_

_She sighed. "Do you REALLY think we're going to finish this one?"_

"…_Yes."_

_MinaM00N looked over my shoulder, leaning ever so gently as to not fall over and break the computer. We have bad balance like that._

"_What are you even TYPING anyways?"_

_I shrug and continue-_

"WHOA! WHOA! WHOA!" MinaM00N yelped. "Bad grammar! Bad grammar! HAHAH! I FINALLY CAUGHT YOU ON IT!"

"OW!" I fell out of my seat. "WHAT?"

"You switched the past tense writing to present tense writing!" I raised an eyebrow. "Yeah. I did that on purpose."

"Why?"

"To see how the viewers would react, of course!" Standing up, I turned to face you guys. "Welcome! To Detective Conan Gets High… Or Drunk or Whatever!"

"ON FANFICTION!"

"Ichigo, Ichigo we've already gone over this! That ISN'T GOING TO FIT INTO THE TITLE!"

"ON **FANFICTION! GAHHHHHHHH!**"

O.O "Uhhh… okay then. So this story is basically a bunch of short mini humor stories we randomly came up with. I hope you all enjoy!"

"Bye bye!" Me and Ichigo waved at you guys, smiling cheerfully.

**This is What Genta Does…**

The Shonen Tentai Dan sat around in their clubroom. It had been years since Shinichi and Haibara gave up on an antidote and Conan had been in a pissy mood ever since. Of course, all of the Detective Boys knew now, for their detective skills had grown, that Shinichi was Conan. Mitsuhiko had merely been shocked. Ayumi had started cutting, and Genta…well, Genta got a new hobby.

"So, what's up…Homedogs?" Haibara barely managed the urban saying with her pleasantly quiet and calm voice, looking up at the three teenagers. Ayumi looked up at her for a few seconds before looking back down at her school skirt, which had some blood on it from NOBODY-WANTS-TO-KNOW where. Mitsuhiko shrugged and sipped his coca cola. Conan hissed like a cat and turned away.

"Well then…"

Suddenly, booming music came from down the hallway, like a bouncing ball that went up and down and backwards and forwards. Haibara and Conan looked towards the door, questioning looks on their faces. Abruptly, Genta bounced into the room, rebounding on his butt. "This is what I do, I sit on you! Sit on you!" He continued hopping all around the room. "This is what I do, I sit on you!" He bounced onto Ayumi's lap. "Right on your lap"

"AH!"

He bounced off and hopped onto the table. "This is what I do, this is what I do, this is what I do, I SIT ON YOU!"

He bounced onto Conan's head.

"Right on your head!"

Haibara and Mitsuhiko twitched as Genta continually bounced around the room, butt flubbering (word?) everywhere as he went up and down, up and down, up and down. "This is what I do, this is what I do, I sit on you. Sit on you!"

He bounded out of the room.

**Dragon Age: The Detective Conan Origins**

Conan and Mitsuhiko watched the X-Box 360 vigilantly, never taking their eyes away.

"Oh my, this is a rather odd topic you wish to speak about, while leaning so closely in…" Morrigan, the computerized woman on the screen, spoke in a sweet yet Haibara-like voice. "Dude, make them kiss!" Mitsuhiko shouted. Conan stuck his tongue out. "No way! I'm going for Leliana!"

"Too bad!" Mitsuhiko reached over to grab the controller.

"TOO BAD? NUH-UH! LELIANA'S GONNA GET TENT TIME!"

"NO! MORRIGAN DESERVES THE TENT TIME! NOT LELIANA!"

"WHAT? HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT? LELIANA'S A SWEET INNOCENT GIRL THAT KICK BUTT LIKE RAN OR AYUMI! MORRIGAN'S LIKE HAIBARA!"

"MORRIGAN KICKS A$$!"

"YOU ONLY WANT MORRIGAN SO YOU CAN PRETEND TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH HAIBARA!"

"NUH-UH!"

"UH-HUH!"

"NUH-UH!"

"UH-HUH!"

"**NUH-UH!**"

"**UH-HUH!**"

**SLAP!**

Conan and Mitsuhiko turned to the screen to see that the character had slapped Morrigan straight across the face. Mitsuhiko cringed. "No tent time?"

Morrigan came right back and slapped him.

**The Giant Misunderstanding**

"I'm SOOO BORED!" Ayumi whined, slumping over the Mouri's couch. Mitsuhiko and Genta nodded. Mitsuhiko, standing up with his arms crossed with his determined expression, let out an annoyed groan. "What did Ran-neechan even need from Conan that has them gone so long?"

"I don't know, but we're going to be late!" Ayumi moaned.

The three children had come to pick up Conan for a fair. The club had gotten tickets from their teacher as payment for some THING they did. Something about keeping a secret for her from some quote- cute boy's-unquote parents in their class or something…

"Hey! Easy Conan-kun! Be gentle!"

This caused the kid's ears to perk up…

"I'm trying, Nee-chan! But it's hard! You're so much bigger than me!"

"What the-?" Mitsuhiko raised an eyebrow and put his ear to the door.

"I know Conan…just…try. I really need it."

Genta came up behind Mitsuhiko as well.

"I know Neechan… just hold on." Came Conan's voice, it held a much softer tone.

"Genta-kun…" Genta slowly twisted his head towards Mitsuhiko. "Mitsuhiko-kun, do you think they…?"

"What?" Ayumi got up from the couch, innocent expression on her face. "What are they doing?"

The two boys gulped and looked at her before biting their lips.

"What?"

"Ayumi-chan… you know how babies are born, right?"

Ayumi nodded. "Yeah, Mommy and Daddy wrestle!"

"Well…" Mitsuhiko gulped.

"We think Conan-kun and Ran-neechan are trying to have babies."

"WHAT?"

"We think…" Mitsuhiko spoke slowly. "…that Nee-chan…and Conan-kun….are trying….to have…babies."

"NO! Conan-kun would NEVER do that! He would NEVER cheat on Ayumi-chan!" Ayumi screamed, tears starting up in her eyes. Mitsuhiko and Genta sighed. "Well, we could stop them?" Genta suggested.

"STOP WHAT?" Ayumi turned away, arms crossed. "They're not doing anything! I know they aren't-!"

The two males dragged her over to the door and pressed her ear against it.

"N-Neechan! Don't hold onto it like that!"

"Why not?"

"That's not fair! I can't fight back!"

"Tee hee! Wow… if you really look at it, it's kind of tiny."

"NEE-CHAN!"

Mitsuhiko and Genta let go when they felt her start whimpering.

"Conan-kun… really IS cheating on Ayumi-chan!"

"Are you okay, Ayumi-chan?" Mitsuhiko asked, rubbing the back of his head. "NO!"

A few seconds later, Conan opened up the door, Ran staying back in the room. "Hey, guys. Hope I didn't keep you waiting too lo- huh? Guys? What? What's wrong?"

The three glared daggers at him. "What?"

"C….CONAN-KUN'S A MEANY!" Screaming and crying, Ayumi ran out of the house. "WAH? AYUMI-CHAN!" Running, he chased after her. Mitsuhiko and Genta simply watched. "Hey, Mitsuhiko-kun? Genta-kun? You guys wanna try?" Ran asked, stepping up to the door. Mitsuhiko and Genta looked at each other before rapidly waving their hands back and forth, slurs of "No thank you!" "Nah, sorry Nee-chan!" coming from them.

Ran laughed and pulled them into the bedroom.

"N-Neechan! We-uhhh!"

Ran placed the two of them on her bed, forcing them to stay there. "Now, stay."

"Nee-chan! We really can't-"

A video game started up.

"Play a video game? After Ayumi-chan ran off like that I'm sure you all aren't going; especially if SHE has the tickets."

They both stared blankly as "Dead or Alive Extreme Beach Volleyball 2!" played on the screen.

"Ohhhhhh….."

!

Sooooo…? How was it? xD We're so MEAN I know, but…heh. PLEASE REVIEW!


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